So You Want to Fight…

Katters: Fight Katters if you’re ready for a committment. She’ll never admit defeat. She’ll admit victory, but then she’ll be back for the sequel because you pissed her off.

Zebra: Do it. You might win if you go for his face, but even if you don’t win you’ll be doing everyone a favour.

Brutus: Sure, take on the embodiment of chaos trapped in the form of a small dinosaur, that sounds like a solid plan.

Spike: What? Why? How could you? You’ll win, but then everyone who hears about it will swear revenge against you. And you’ll deserve it, you monster.

Food: Most people call that “eating.”

Harry: Don’t fight Harry. You’ll win, sure, but it’ll be because he refuses to fight back. You won’t prove anything except that you’re willing to kick a man when he’s down.

Sor: Fighting Sor will be the worst idea you’ll ever have. She’ll kick your ass so hard you won’t know what happened, you’ll just wake up tomorrow with your face on backwards.

Saskia: You’ll beat her one-on-one, but then you’ll have to answer to Eira.

Eira: No.

Baines: Knock him over and he’ll go down, and then he’ll cry, and then you’ll have to ask yourself what you really thought you were going to accomplish, here.

Noel: Noel will kick your ass. Noel will kick anyone’s ass. Noel will kick her own ass.

Special guest star Vivi: If you try to fight Vivi you will only make her stronger and the universe will punish you for it. You might win, but at what cost? Don’t fight Vivi – befriend her and let her fight people for you.

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